The Baby

             The closer it gets, the more excited she is!
             She found the veil I wore in my wedding
             and just had to play dress-up. 

Misc.

The Girl Child reminded me that I have not written anything in a while.  I love it that she reads the blog!

I really haven't done that much for the wedding this week, other than finishing my ordering bonanza and getting excited whenever a package arrives. As soon as the fabric arrives I will be cutting and sewing and pinking 15 table toppers.  (The dinner is casual, so I am not going to hem them.) I won't work on the party favors until closer to time.  Starting this week I will be working on packing the Middle Child's things that he will need when he moves to start his new job.  I have worked on the guest list for the party and little shower that will be given for them.  Even being able to ask MANY more to the cocktail party than I can to the wedding, it was still hard to keep the list down. That was surprising.

I have signed and faxed the contract for the rehearsal dinner and am about to do the same for the invitations.  I had seen the invitations I am using in one of the many wedding magazines I buy every cycle of their publishing. (Even when there was no one near getting married!)   It was a Save the Date in the magazine and is a little different for a Rehearsal Dinner invitation, but it so fits the Bridal Couple that I just HAD to have it!  I couldn't find a store anywhere in Georgia who carried their product:  Cheree Berry.  And when I went to their website I didn't see that very one.  So I emailed them and have worked out the invitation. ( While trying to find them, I read that they printed the invitations for Chelsea Clinton's wedding.)

 I did make a trek to Michael's and Party City.  And while there I saw the cutest little thing!  So now I am obsessing about what I can get for them to have waiting for them after the wedding.  A little cheesy, I know, but fun!!! I will need a partner in "crime"  to get them there.  If that doesn't work out, I guess I will have to resort to a gift bag at the door!  More items to come!!!

So Romantic

I have several friends whose daughters have had proposals that included a surprise visit and celebration from parents of both of the engaged couples.   I have 2 more chances to be able to enjoy and celebrate like that.  I admit, when my husband and I became engaged, we didn't think to do anything, including preparing our parents for the event.  I never really had an official proposal---we dated for so long (5 years) that we just evolved in our thinking and planning.  We looked for my ring together.  We had actually picked it out before "Will you marry me?" was ever spoken.  Even when it was,  it almost seemed anti-climactic.  As much as I would have loved to have had the romantic proposal, I guess I really didn't need it.  (Now, wanting it is entirely different!) We were, and are, deeply in love;  and were, and are, best friends.
When we went to my house after buying the ring, to tell my parents about our excitement, my mom said,"What made you decide to end this casual relationship?"  We all had a good laugh!  I am sure they had been wondering what was taking us so long!!!!


 My husband -to-be didn't think to talk to my dad---I don't know if that is because we were clueless (we were), or because I was an adult,  working and on my own, and asking for my "hand" seemed ridiculous. (That's a throw back to the era when daughters and wives were property.)   Now that I have children in that stage of life, my opinion about asking hasn't changed--it is their choice--but wanting to be in the loop and a part of the celebration is important to me.  With the Groom-to-Be, we were definitely in the loop and loved every minute of it.  I kept talking to him about how we actually needed to be there and help celebrate---but to no avail!!!!!  I have already prepared my Girl Child that if her Groom-to-Be feels he must talk to the Dad, it had better be talking to the Parents.( I mean, really, who quit her paying job to work at home? )   I do know that some dads feel it IS important and talked to the No.1 Son about that, and will speak to my other son when the time comes.  However I would LOVE for the G-T-B to come and talk to US.  But I would like The Talk to be about planning the engagement surprise!!!!

Hurray

They decided to register for some gifts!!!!  The Bride-to-Be is the one who, I think, realized that if they didn't, they might get multiples of pitchers or frames or salad bowls.  People will  give gifts whether they are registered or not.  So this will be better for everyone.

I've been working on the Rehearsal Dinner a little.  The Groom -to- be knows about a couple of things that I am planning, like asking that his favorite dessert be served.  And he knows that the invitation will be a little out of the ordinary for a Rehearsal Dinner:  If I  use what I am planning, there will be 2 dog silhouettes on them. (They love their dogs!)   But he doesn't know about the party favors.  There is one in particular that I am excited about...but I must keep it a secret for now, just in case.......I'll talk about it, and some of the other little things I do, posting pictures, too, after the dinner.

Our Visit

We saw the couple this weekend as a combination scheduled visit "before the engagement" and "we need to look at hotels and venues".

The wedding weekend will be a causal one---all outside unless it rains.  The venue for the rehearsal dinner is an historical site, so it will be an interesting place.  The lantern idea is a definite "Go", with the plan of borrowing some so that it will look more casual and not so put together.   I will use a combination of black and white paisley and black and white checked table toppers, with a little red thrown in.  I'm planning to use galvanized trays to pass out cocktails upon arrival---Firefly in lemonade---and they will be served in small mason-type jars with straws. We decided, for now, to have just beer and wine, but with margaritas.  I am happy to have a full bar, but the Groom feels that most will drink the beer and wine.  A friend told me that if liquor is served, that is probably what they will drink.  I'm going to ask around a little more to get a poll.  

 Because the venue is an historical site, we are not allowed to use stakes or tape or nails.  I really like little white lights (as does the Bride) so we brainstormed ideas to get them.  I had recently seen some solar powered market umbrellas that have little lights on the ribs of the umbrella.  Hurray!  Little white lights!  I have 3 of the umbrellas now and will go for a 4rth.  I think that will add to the ambiance of outside.

Looking for a hotel to recommend is more stressful than I thought.  I want it to be a nice hotel, but affordable.  The wedding is in a tourist town, so that is harder than you may think.  We did find one in a great location, but the rooms are just ordinary, but the price is pretty good for the location.  We will check with 1 more from home before making our final decision.  And we feel that offering group transportation might be a good idea so we are looking into that, as well,  I don't think we can do it for all guests, but parking is minimal at the reception.

Visit

Today we go to the wedding destination.  We'll talk to someone at the rehearsal dinner location as well as check out a couple of hotels to block rooms.  I don't really know what is the correct protocol, but because both families will be "out of town" and have their own particular needs, I think we are making separate arrangements, but keeping each other informed.  And because most guests will be out of town, I will make the guest bags for my guests.   I know that usually the Bride is responsible for both, but I feel this is definitely appropriate due to circumstances.  I told the Groom to tell the Bride that I will make the guest bags for our side.  (Hopefully he did--he wants me to go through him, right now, I think to ease the stress of planning for her.)

And I LOVE to plan and make party favors/guest bags.  I have no idea why, but it is such fun to me.  So I do not mind at all!!!  I found the cutest palm leaf bag that I hope will work out for me to get.  I haven't tried to order them, yet.  Because the wedding is on the coast, I thought those would be good.  It isn't a tropical wedding, so I won't go that far.  I will sort of be all over the map with this because there are so many cute things that fit a guest bag, and that are representative of him.   Hopefully I will pare down as the comes time to actually get the items.

A friend took me out for a belated birthday lunch yesterday and gave me this cute catch-all  pouch.  This is so much fun!!!

Day Off

Yesterday I took the day off.  Other than talking to my loving husband about blocking rooms in hotels, I didn't do anything wedding related.  I walked with The Girl Child in the morning and my husband in the evening.  I worked on my art "homework", I made dog biscuits for the grand-dogs and did some laundry.  No errands, no wedding, no make-up.

Today my obsession has begun again.

Rehearsal Dinner

I am feeling a little better today.  After talking to a couple of people about numbers at their rehearsal dinners, I decided on a number.  Big step!!  The Groom seems happy about it.  I was stressing, basically, because I was thinking I needed to fill the room we like (in case of rain) to its capacity which is 140 , more than half of the invited guests to the wedding.   They really want it outside, so we could invite as many as we wanted, really.  There is a bigger room we could use if the weather doesn't cooperate if we decided on more Then, with the help of the Girl Child, I realized that the rehearsal dinner could be a party for all invited to the wedding (especially since it is essentially a destination wedding for most everyone but the Bride and Groom), but that it also could be a night for a more intimate celebration.  I decided the more intimate celebration was what they might enjoy more.

Decorating is another issue. They really want it to be casual.  I can do casual.  But they want it REALLY casual.  I am making a couple of concessions, but I will still make it look as cute as I can, in as as casual a way as I can.  We decided on a BBQ menu since the reception will be close to a low country boil.  So I will opt for the paper plates even though I would prefer the china.  I won't have flowers, but I will use lanterns.  I still want tablecloths and toppers.  The pictures have to look nice, after all!  I won't have assigned tables, but I will reserve some for the family.  And I WILL have party favors.

Breathe

My sister says to BREATHE.  That's hard!   Another friend says that true friends will understand.   Boy, I hope so.  Another friend said to try to do what makes me happy.  I'm trying to focus on that.


We are now in the phase of looking for hotels to block rooms in and hopefully a van or trolley to help with transportation.  One company is already booked.   I am so glad that we are working on the wedding for the Groom first. Even though I have helped with a couple of weddings, you really don't know what all the decisions are that you have to make until you are really the one to plan and pay for it.   I hope the Girl Child will give us a little more time to think through all that needs to be done!

"You can't always get what you want."

The Guest List.  What more can I say?

I know this is probably the biggest stressing issue on both sides of the family.  We are so excited about our children getting married that we want to share everything with everyone.  And then reality sets in.  The loving couple wants only a few people there beyond family.  The Bride and her family have priority to the invitations and they can't invite all that they would want there!  I have talked about this before, and I may talk about it again, because it is the reason I wake up at night.  How do you take someone off of a list that you already have tried to make small?  I know deep down inside that people will understand, but I don't want anyone to feel that they are not as special as someone else.  Maybe they would really love to know they were on the list but are relieved that they don't have to make an excuse to not go????  That would make me feel so much better!!!!!

And then there's the Rehearsal Dinner.......

There are so many cute things out there for Brides-to-Be that the MOB and MOG can enjoy, too!  Yes, I have a mug and gave one to the Bride.  And I already have one for the girl child which she will NOT need for several years!!!  

Cool, Calm and Collected?

I am such a planner and don't like to procrastinate.  There is only so much I can do when I have little control. There are some good aspects to that, I am sure, but right now I can't think of them!  I know planning the wedding and reception is very stressful and time consuming, not to mention more expensive.  But waiting for information and trying not to step on toes or hurt feelings or overstep my bounds  while asking questions about everything has its own stresses.  Especially when I have to go through the Groom.......I asked a former and soon- to-be MOB if things are this hard for her as for the MOG.  My stomach is continually in knots, which validates the description of my being "high strung" that another friend has given me!  She's right!  Hopefully I look cool, calm and collected on the outside.  Even with saying all of that, I am so excited and having fun!!!!!  I hope I am doing everything the right way!

Bare Bones

With only 5 months until the wedding date, both families are deep into the guest list.  I have a very small family and lots of special friends.  The Bride's family has a very large family and lots of special friends.  The Bride and Groom have lots of special friends.  The reception site has a fire code limit of 250, and they take that very seriously.  So, I am nervous that I will have to cut my bare bones list even more.  This is really hard, and I know that when my daughter gets married it won't be much easier.  There always will be a limit.

The good news is that the Bride and Groom have agreed to a shower.  I came up with the idea of a linen shower, knowing that they would definitely use things like sheets and towels, so with a lot of not -so-subtle arm twisting, they agreed.  (They don't want a lot of "things" because they have 2 households to combine into a small home and they both are pretty minimalistic)  So my hopeful plan is that we can have the shower and a cocktail party (not Engagement Party since you have to invite only those invited to the wedding to that) the same weekend.  If that doesn't work out I don't know what I'll do!

Meeting the family

What a wonderful family the No.1 Son is adding into his life...as are we!  They are so gracious, family oriented and generous.  They took us to dinner with 2 other couples and their other 2 children.  Sadly, my other 2 could not be there.  It was an evening of fellowship and obvious joy for all. We spent the night in their lovely home and they had a delicious brunch before we left.

 I think the engaged couple liked all of their party favors! The No. 1 Son has collected Pez dispensers throughout the years so I knew he would like the wedding couple. I had some for the MOB and her daughter as well.  It was a great icebreaker and aided in conversation as we were getting to know one another.