Gift From the Heart

The Bridal Couple is coming at the end of the month for a small shower where only those invited to the wedding are invited,  followed by a cocktail party introducing the Bride to friends, including some that  I am not able to place on my wedding guest list.  I had this great idea for hostess gifts and wrangled a couple of friends to help me.  I love the gifts.  But all of a sudden I am nervous that the hostesses won't!  They will appreciate the thought and effort, I know.  But because they are "from the heart" I am more nervous than I would be if I had chosen something else.  These ladies/couples who are giving the parties and helping with making the gift bags for out of town guests are so special to me. How lucky am I? And I wanted to express my appreciation through the gift.  Crossing my fingers that they like them!

Last night some of those ladies and I made a fun memory!
 A movie is being made in our little city and the stars have been spotted out and about--Kevin Bacon, Billy Bob Thornton and the guy who melted in one of the Terminator movies.   We were car-pooling for our Bridge night.  When Bridge was over and we reached the home where some of us met to ride together, one of the ladies jumped out quickly (she wasn't able to go) and the crazy driver started quickly down the driveway (one of the participants forgot what was happening and had her door open and leg ready to get out!!!!!).  Now, the reason she was driving fast was because the 2 of us in the way back of the car (one was the owner of the house where we were) didn't know the plan.  We were looking at each other saying: Do you know what's going on?  We were being "kidnapped" to go looking for the stars!  What fun!  While we were trying to spot them for a photo op, Billy Bob walked past us, with 2 police officers, and I quietly said:  Hi, Billy Bob!  He replied:  Hi, honey.  !!!!!!!

After hanging out with the other oglers for a while, we decided that our presence was more important than theirs and the headlines should read:  Bridge Group Spotted at Local Restaurant!

How do you measure love?

Buck Owens wrote:


High as the sky is my love for you
Warm as the sun that comes shining through
Strong as a wave on the ocean blue
That's how I measure my love for you

When I sleep all my dreams are just dreams of you
When I'm awake all my thoughts are of only you
I'd walk a mile just to see one little smile from you
That's how I measure my love for you

When you're gone how I long for the sight of you
When you're near how I thrill to the touch of you
Right or wrong from now on I'll be a part of you

That's how I measure my love for you
High as the sky...
That's how I measure my love for you

Memories

"Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the
ride worthwhile."  Franklin P. Jones


I've been remembering one specific time during my husband's and my engagement.    One day I visited him in his hometown. His mom and I were talking about something relating to his likes, dislikes, or what he wanted or didn't want.  I don't remember the conversation as much as the feeling I had while we were talking, which was basically:  he's MY son and I know him better than you do.  His mom really did like me.  He was the baby and I think that was what was propelling the slight attitude.    As MY children have gotten older, I have thought about that moment more often.  I have tried very hard to embrace the fact that the people they are with all the time really do know them better than I do.  And that includes the room mate, girlfriend, boyfriend or fiance'/fiancee'.
 I miss being the center of his life.  I miss knowing what his new favorite food is.   I miss being the one he calls when something good or bad happens.  But missing all of those things means I have done my job.

Procrastinate? Not Me!

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness;  nothing so gentle as real strength."  St. Frances de Sales

I have cut the fabric for the table toppers that I plan to use at the rehearsal dinner and I will begin sewing the seams tomorrow.  Since I am starting so early, I will be able to do them leisurely, almost enjoying the process.  When my boys were babies, I learned how to smock.  I smocked and constructed each  son an outfit for each season.  The love of my life would walk in the door in fear and trepidation when he saw the sewing machine was up.  Sewing is not my forte', but sometimes it is just necessary!  I never smocked or constructed a dress for my daughter.......Doing this a little at a time will keep me enjoying the process without feeling stressed at the last minute.

I realize not everyone likes to do things early.  But I will go out on a limb and say that the sooner you can make some decisions and start to act on them, the more you will enjoy everything.  And when my daughter gets married, I hope to be able to have vendors do as much for me as possible----like decorate the venue so that I will for sure not break a nail!  But because the Groom -to-Be wants things as simple as possible, and lives so far away, there is really nothing to ask a professional to do other than cater.  I am happy to do the DIY projects like the toppers and ask friends and family to help set up at the venue. After all, I am just the MOG, blending in the background, trying not to offend anyone!!!!

119 Days To Go

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you."  Winnie the Pooh


My daughter asked if I was going to burn out on the No. 1 Son's wedding and not do cute things by the time she gets married.  The answer is a definitive "NO!"  It will be such a different and new experience then.  She even wants me to write a blog during her engagement !  I love it!!

Yesterday a friend dropped off a couple of cute things that every MOG should have:

Aren't they cute?  The calendar is already getting filled and the cup stays filled all day!
They came from Swoozie's.

Time to Vent

A friend suggested that the name of my blog should have been "The Groom's Mother's Side".  She was right about that.  When I write one for the other son, I will change it.

The debate about whose wedding it is, the parents or the couple. has been one that I have had with myself as well as others.  Of course it is the wedding of the Bride and Groom.  But it is also a celebration for the 2 families and their friends.  In my young, oblivious way, I got that.  My wedding was very simple and small, and  I still didn't know everyone there...... it was a wonderful and meaningful and fun day!

Would it  have been easier to have had just family for the No. 1 Son's wedding?  This very limited guest list is not fun.  I just need 3 more invitations.  The Groom-to-Be is not empathetic.

"Back in the day", the wedding was a celebration given by the parents for the couple, and therefore was considered their party---- rehearsal dinner and wedding.   When did the parents loose at least 1/2 of the decision-making power?  Playing the money card just doesn't sit well with me and it would do nothing for our relationship.

What got me going recently was when my son made a comment about getting together with a couple for brunch on the weekend of his hometown parties.    This precious couple are originally from India and are so excited that the No. 1 son is marrying someone who is Indian, that  they want to meet and entertain her family with ours.  His comment ,"I don' t know those people and we need to get home early." , really got to me.  If he were 22  I would have more patience.  But he's 29.

I don't want you to think less of my precious son.  He is sweet, smart and handsome.  I love him so, so much.  He just doesn't like to be the center of attention and he has a shyness about him that sometimes he masks in an attitude.  I do understand that. I have a lot of that shyness in me that I work on everyday.   But:  Come on!  Really!  Really?  Get with the program.  Grow up!  Time to be an adult!  Think about someone else!  Think!  Please!  Please?

So, whose wedding is it, anyway?
OK, I think I have vented enough.

More Cute Things

"A good marriage is a contest of generosity."  Diane Sawyer

I haven't written in a while because life does go on----I actually have to think about something other than the wedding, doggone it!

While working on gift bags for a friend's daughter's wedding I found these.  So cute and "versitile"!
These little Bride and Groom decorations are supposed to be for champagne glasses but they work great for beer bottles.    I found these at Party City.

This is a heart shaped bottle opener! And there is a little pack of coffee
called:  Love is Brewing.  Both at Party City.









This set for wine bottles looks really cute on beer bottles.  I found this at Michael's, but Party City has a set, too.









                                            

These bottle beer koozies are cute, but as  you can see, they don't really fit the bottles!  They are from Michael's.  I am on the search of others.  

 

We Have a Venue--I Think!

I think we have a venue for the wedding!
Where they are getting married is a busy place in October.  Lots of people want to marry there. Looking for the type of  venue that they wanted was not easy.  So, they will marry on the dock that is overlooking the marshes at the reception site.  To be honest, I think that it is a perfect location for them.  The water--ocean, lake, pond--has always been important to the Groom-to-Be.  I have a feeling the pictures will be beautiful!

"Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."
Robert Heinlein

So Cute!

Felix Rey makes this precious tote that I could not resist!  It also comes in brown and is on sale!  Look for the name "Superstar" for the tote.  On the other side is a sequin star, but that's all right.  Felix Rey also has several clutches in a couple of styles and colors with a heart on them ---- one of them may have to accompany me to the wedding!  As soon as I know what I am wearing, I'll know!

What fun for the MOB, MOG or Bride!!!

Similar But Different

I don't know if I have talked about this earlier, but the Bride and Groom-to-Be  come from similar backgrounds in many ways.  Both sets of parents are well educated with similar multiple degrees.  They both have a sister and brother who are well educated.  They come from very caring and loving families, morally and ethically similar.  The couple is similar in personality--low key, very low maintenance, casually oriented.   The only big differences that I see so far is that one is quieter than the other (probably a good thing) and they come from 2 different cultural backgrounds and religions.  Both honorable, just different.  I don't mean denominations like Presbyterian or Methodist.   Or Catholic instead of  Protestant.  I mean religions.  The Groom was raised in a Christian home and the Bride in a Hindu home.  Twenty years ago that might have bothered me.  But not now.  It doesn't bother the couple (or the Bride's family).   They both are good people--a result of genetics, a loving and supportive home life and childhood religious training.  My thinking over the years has become more inclusive and accepting of lots of things.  In my interpretation of my childhood upbringing, and growth as an adult, I feel that is the way I should be.  I am not always successful, but  I am still evolving as a human being, having a long way to go.  I come from a long line of Methodist ministers, on both sides of my family.    My father, who was headed toward medical school, felt a call to the ministry.  I know in my heart, because I knew him, that he would embrace the wedding.

I mention this because I have been worried that some of my family and friends might have questions.  It will be not only not Christian or Hindu, but not religious.   But it  WILL  be a celebration and commitment  of love, honor, respect, fidelity and family.

 The most important thing is that our families join together in love, support and acceptance.  Isn't that what we strive for in all marriages?  I know that my family and friends who support and love us, will support and love them in their life's journey,   How great is that?!

So to my wonderful family and friends I quote this Irish proverb:  When I count my blessings,  I count you twice.

Workin' it Out

My Middle Child called yesterday to say that he already knows he has to work on Christmas Day and can't come home.  What the Groom -to-Be will be doing is anyone's guess---including his.  This is a dilemma we have not had to face in the 29 years since he was born.  Yes, I know we are not the first, or the last, to go through this. And other families work it out very successfully and satisfactorily. That doesn't lessen the fear of the unknown.   I knew deep inside that last Christmas might be the last that we would be together as we have been since the beginning of our little family.  I desperately will try to not turn the guilt screws as we work out, from year to year, what the holidays will be.   But for now, I am sad, and teary, and afraid that we won't be as important as the Bride-to-Be's family.  I have a feeling we will go to the Middle Child for Christmas---I just can't bear for him to be alone.   The positive side is, if the No. 1 Son and his beautiful Bride can't be with us this year, we will have something different and fun to look forward to and plan. Our lives have to go on, too.....